Friday, July 18, 2008
I have to say...every time I doubt God's hand I hurt both He and myself. This has been, as you all know, a particularly rough time as we wait on John's arrival. Charley has had more travel jobs this summer than anticipated - Wisconsin and now Florida. When he came home to tell me on Monday that they asked him to go to FL for two weeks I was devastated. I whined, I prayed, I just didn't know how I was going to get through without him. I have great friends nearby, but no family, and it's a struggle that only he and I understand right now. So, with great anxiety I waited and prayed and got mad at God. I do that well. He always lets me know how much he is working in my life, but I am just too dumb to see it in the making. As it turns out, I am going to be able to go with Charley the first week of his trip to FL! We are leaving today, Friday, and going down to West Palm Beach, where my mom grew up and I spent many summers as a kid. I can't wait to show Charley all the things I remember from my childhood (even thought it's changed so much, I know!) and sit on the beach with a book and relax. John is named after my grandfather, my mom's dad, and I have so many wonderful memories of his life. Florida is not the same without him, for sure, but I'm sure I can conjure him up in my mind and he'll be beside me while we're there :) The following week my mom will come back with me so that I'm not alone. I've always thought I'm a pretty strong person. But, this waiting on John has me in a nervous bundle!