You know how you go through life with different markers by which to live? For me, growing up, it greatly mattered exactly how old I was and when April was coming to mark another year. Or, in school, remember looking forward to summer break and all the great things that meant - trips to the ocean, visiting family and friends, hanging out at the pool? For us, this morning was a blessing. It rained here in Wilmore and while the little hometown parade still floated by our street, we were blessedly trapped in the car with our godchild, Matthew. He isn't feeling too well and combine that with the drizzle of rain, we just decided to forgo the campground and watch the parade from the shelter of the front seat. Whew. My marker for the past several months has been (big surprise here) the arrival of John. I love the 4th...but, watching the families year after year has been detrimental to my health. I agonized before, try to enjoy during, and afterwards anguish both silently and out loud (read: poor husband) that we are not yet raising our family. Ick. Enough. Sorry to be such a downer on such a blessed holiday filled with freedom and spirit. What I mean to say in all of that rambling is that NEXT year I won't have to agonize over watching the families on the 4th! Our family will join the crowds filled with children with gusto. We have much to be thankful for this year, but the next 4th will be extra special as we celebrate as 3.
At least I have the freedom to choose - to foster, to adopt, to try fertility, to choose not to have children. Those are the freedoms I am thankful for this 4th of July. Hurray for a country where the majority is still patriotic and boldly proud of the red, white, and blue!
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